My healing story started with unknowingly breaking into pieces. In 2012, I decided I wouldn’t have any more children and chose to have a Tubal Ligation (TL). I worked as a Labor & Delivery nurse then and saw TLs done weekly. Hundreds per year. Every birth control made me sick so I talked to my physician, other women who had tubals and read scientific studies online. It seemed like the perfect solution to birth control. The research and my doctor promised no hormonal side effects, I wouldn’t even know I had it done… I understood that the risk of bleeding or infection were low and I always recovered well from other procedures like childbirth episiotomies. I woke up in the recovery room and was happy that everything went well and I can live worry free about becoming accidentally pregnant. After all, I already had two amazing children as a single mum.

About a week after my surgery, things started to feel very abnormal. I felt a huge brain fog, pain from the waist down, extremely moody, heavy bleeding. I chalked it up to surgical recovery and focused on getting better. After the 6 week mark, I was miserable. I could barely function, has severe pelvic pain, heavy bleeding, severe cramps, my skin, nails and hair were dry and braking. I saw my doctor, he put his hand on my head, like a child, and said: ‘It’s all in your head, you are just getting older, you stopped birth control and this is all normal.’ I replied: ‘I was not on birth control.’ He said: ‘Hm, you will probably need a hysterectomy…’. ‘I almost lost consciousness. WHAT? What is wrong with my uterus?’. He had no answer. He sent me off to see a therapist because it must be all in my head and probably want more children. To say that I was frozen with disbelief is a severe understatement. The medical gaslighting went on for 3 years. I saw at least 9 doctors who all said I was fine and just old. No one could explain how I got so old 6 weeks post ‘simple’ surgery. In those 3 years, my symptoms got so severe, I was not able to function day to day, was on strong pain medication, and had about 20 debilitating symptoms, including suicidal ideations. I kept trying to research online what could be wrong and came across ‘Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome’ (PTLS). All doctors that saw me told me that syndrome isn’t real and women made it up to blame their issues on something else.

I must admit, I am still a little embarrassed that it took me 3 years, but finally I decided to take matters into my own control. I left the mindset of ‘doctor knows best’ and ‘be a good patient’ and ‘if they say you’re old and crazy it must be true’. I saw some women online getting a reversal. This was over 10 years ago and so not as much information was online and no Facebook groups like today. I started researching Tubal Reversals. I found a couple in my area and started calling them. Only one would do a reversal for PTLS. I went to see him, scarred that he would just say I was crazy again… I was wrong. He looked at me gently and said ‘I am really sorry this is what happened to you. I see women like you all the time. About 50% of reversals we do are for PTLS.’ I could not believe what I was hearing and almost started crying. This was the first doctor that immediately knew I was right. Why did it take me 3 years? Why don’t other doctors know about this? Why don’t they believe us? I work with OB/GYNs every day and no one ever mentioned this! And to think that my doctor’s solution was to take my perfectly healthy organ. I was happy, but also livid about our medical system, my own doctor, my own hospital. But that didn’t matter, I now saw a light at the end of the tunnel. I got my reversal, my insurance didn’t cover a cent of it. It cost me nearly $5,000. The recovery from reversal was brutal, but I was feeling like myself again. Brain fog gone within days and 80% of PTLS symptoms gone within a few months.

How does my PTLS journey tie into Breathwork and Coaching? By the time the 3 years had passed, I was so broken, physically, mentally and emotionally drained and in pieces. The father of my children passed away a year after my tubal and I could barely cope. It was exactly 13 days after my Tubal Reversal surgery that I showed up for an Intro Holotropic Breathwork session. My pain was still 8/10 and I was desperate to get to my healthy self, ready to try anything. This time, I would only do what felt right to ME, not what any man or woman in a white coat said.

The hour of Breathwork music felt like 15 minutes, the sense of time and space was completely dissolved. I saw my uterus like a big fall of fire in my pelvis, my traumatic moments from a few years ago started processing through a waterfall of tears, I felt profound forgiveness, to myself and those that hurt me, oneness with all beings, my pelvic pain releasing. I felt light and free, with my hands like wings, flapping and flying… forgiveness and healing. Finally. I immediately signed up for an all day workshop and the rest is history. I have been practicing since and became a Facilitator to bring this modality to everyone who seeks it. My hope is to ignite global healing.

The path to healing was not short nor easy, but so worth it. I still struggle with health challenges, remnants of the 3 year ordeal, but I am able to manage them pretty successfully. I was also able to use my autonomy to advocate for my daughter’s healing. Without my prior experience and ability to search far and beyond the mainstream medicine, I may not have been able to help her. I will always be grateful. ~